Humpty Dumpty remix story.

There was once a person named Humpty Dumpty. (V cuts me off and corrects the person to monster). Okay so there was a monster named Humpty Dumpty. One day he got bored and decided to climb up a wall. (V laughs and says if they put Aishu on the wall, the wall would have cracked) Back to fairytale. So Humpty Dumpty realised he couldn’t get down. All the King’s men and all the King’s horses came running down the road. What did they do? They took a ladder and placed it on the wall. Humpty Dumpty tried to climb down but missed a rung and crashed to the ground. The King’s men tried to fix Humpty Dumpty but they couldn’t. So they called the Hindu casket cos Humpty Dumpty was hindu and wore kungumam all. They made an oval shaped coffin for humpty dumpty. Then since humpty dumpty stayed at the 9th Storey, they had to carry the coffin down. (V and I made ooooo sounds here to mimic the couch thingy they blow). After they carried the casket down, they realised the guests were hungry so they opened Humpty Dumpty’s casket and made omelettes for everyone to eat. The end.

I dunno where we come up with such things you know. But we end up laughing after each one cos the finished stories are so damn funny and retarded. So far we’ve covered Snow White and the ten dwarfs(Yup you heard me, ten, it has magical fishes in it too), Ten Little Pigs (Don’t ask, V loves ten, it has a chocolate river in it) and Little Red Mangamma (My personal fav) Someday I’ll tell you all these stories but its only Humpty Dumpty for now=p

On a separate note, I met my secondary school friends and it was awesome as always. I realised how much I missed hanging out with them lol. In uni you meet other friends but none come close to my secondary school ones. Haha we go into aquariums looking at fish and crabs, poking at the tanks, telling funny stories and all. One of our convos la:

Amresh: Dei Kalai, where do you find the most number of Filipinos?

Me: Lucky plaza. There are tons of them there.

Amresh: No. Its the Philippines.

Me: Wtf.

Amresh: Yeah I should shut up now.

Hahahaha and their motto of drink, dream and die. Proudly somemore. Their girlfriends always worry about what they get up to la. I think I’m the most sane one la. LOL.

Anyways before I go, here’s a damn funny vid I came across. Its a Japanese zombie prank where they trick some kids into thinking there’s a real zombie invasion. So the kids set up traps and everything and be heroes. Watch their reactions. Super funny!

Byeee till next time=p

LOLOLOLOLOL. Rudest f***ing people I have ever seen. I agree with some parts of it la but  the part about “they don’t feel that anyone else exists outside this tiny island” is damn stupid. Hello? Our very existence is built upon the existence of the outside world. WE’RE TINY. HOW CAN WE NOT FEEL THAT ANYONE ELSE OUTSIDE OUR ISLAND EXISTS. I think he’s smoking weed or something. Oh shit. I’m a f***ing rude person now. Don’t laugh, I’m being serious. Okay fine, you’re smiling anyway so just continue.

But okay la he’s got a point. Some Singaporeans can be the rudest idiots around. From cutting queues, to spitting in front of you, to pretending to fall asleep on the bus when a pregnant woman or old people board. (But its damn funny to watch them act, one eye like a bit open to see if they standing near them or something. Hahaha bastards) So what exactly is wrong with us?

See, we got the courtesy campaign and speak good english campaign but who cares seriously? Just cos today is courtesy day doesn’t mean I’m gonna call my friend my good chap. I’m still gonna call him a dumbass. Likewise the speak good English campaign. Please la okay. If all your life you have been saying “Eh wanna go dlink kopi O at the kopi shop onot? Dei come la. Uncer two kopi pwease”, you’re not gonna change your style on Speak Good English day to: “Salutations my good man, would you care to join us for a spot of tea at the local tea stall? Oh please do come, it’d be lovely. Jolly good. Sir, would you be so kind as to take our orders for two cups of tea. You have my gratitude.” You wanna know what’s gonna happen? Your friend will spit at your face. That’s one. Then the kopi uncle will wonder wtf is wrong with you and probably ask you to go learn proper English and come back. Okay maybe not la okay. Little bit exaggerate only. FINE LA. Alot exaggerated. But you get my point. Makes no sense.

So obviously, that’s no cure. I think its the stress here la. Go to school and they give you shitload of work. Everyone who’s working from construction workers to teachers are sick of life. On top of that how do you expect to be nice to others? I’m telling you now la. If you can work from 8am-6pm and then be nice still, I salute you. V and I are exceptions cos we’re always nice to each other.

Convo 1

V after finishing school from 9-5pm: Hi dog.

Me: Hi pig.

V: What’s your problem?

Me: WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?

V: You.

Me: Okay. Can I have agaraga? (Indian jelly, don’t ask)

V: Can you shut the hell up?

Me: Okay.

*silence*

Me: So. Can I have agaraga?

V: Eh you better shut up before I come there and shove my shoe into your mouth.

Convo 2

V: Hi cheebye.

Me: HUH WHAT?

V: Hi cheebye.

Me: Why the hell you call me cb for sia?

V: What’s cb?

Me: Cheebye.

V: WTF? YOU CALL ME CHEEBYE FOR WHAT? YOU WANNA DIE AH?

Me: Okay listen here idiot, I will come there and kick you so damn hard you’ll fly.

We’re total angels, I know. See but the point here is that to others these convos may come across as being rude but it isn’t really about that. What appears rude on surface is kinda of a lifestyle and a habit. You can’t really blame people for living the way they always have. Then again, I do agree that Singaporeans do need to learn to be polite like giving up seats, not letting doors slam on the faces on the people walking behind you and my person favourite: If you are in the mrt right and the door opens, walk out fast. And if you’re waiting outside and its crowded, once the people inside leave, walk the hell in quickly instead of taking your bloody time to stroll inside. Cos I swear if I so much as miss a train cos of morons taking their time, I will kick the one in front of me inside the train to increase the speed. And lastly, for the record its excuse me, not excu me, cu me or excusu me (I’ve heard it before, don’t laugh) Sometimes I dunno whether to get angry or be sympathetic to the fact that some people really can’t speak properly through no fault of theirs.

Okay I’m gonna end here. Eh you’re asking me where the video is riiight for today. Oh no ah? Idiots. Here it is anyway. Its a video done by students. Enjoy=p

I hate leaving on a rude note cos I dowan to be a f***ing rude person so here’s a song to teach you to help people and not be rude. Okay fine maybe not really but its got a part about helping the girl pick up a bags and returning her wallet. Its polite. The love part’s a bonus. LOL. Bye people, till next time;)

I’ll be frank here okay. If after viewing these videos, you find your love for the songs increasing or the videos cute in any way, there’s something wrong with you. And I have no idea why but everytime these songs play, I die a little inside. V sings it to irritate me, repeating the maadu thinna, manashae thinna manashae, thinna maadu thinna which results in me half laughing and half wishing for someone to kill me. But seriously, what happened to songs with meaning?  Anything that has a good beat becomes a hit nowadays. I NEED MEANING IN MY SONGS. *deep breaths* So anyway I needed to vent out on something to get me started so now I’ll officially begin=p Below’s a list of things that made my day.

Lame joke of the day

What do you call the act of throwing a man? You ready for the answer? YOU READY? Mantoss. Yup. Let’s move on.

Song lyrics of the day

Strawberry darling, space girl.Born with a golden spoon in your hand, with air-con, Benz car and food served on a plastic plate. Yet you have a burden in your heart, tell me what is that sadness I see in your eyes. Its better to not think too much about this. I’m mad, I already know. Next.

Video of the day

Okay this one is a personal fav of mine. Its from the movie swades. Basically Shah Rukh Khan loves the girl but she finds him damn irritating. Somehow though she’s attracted to him but she’d never tell him herself. What happens in the scene is that a prospective groom comes over with his family to get her hand in marriage. Shah Rukh Khan is damn irritated but he doesn’t say a thing cos he can’t. Eventually the groom’s family leaves cos they find her too modern and perceive her to be arrogant. Shah Rukh Khan acts all sad that they’re leaving and makes eye contact with the girl. I like it cos so many sentiments are seen without words being used especially when she stares at him half irritated but yet accepting the reality. He stares back knowing she knows. I’m a sucker for such scenes. Sue me.

Conversation of the day

V: What idiot?

me: What stupid?

V: Whaaaaat?

Me: Whaaaaaat!

V: WHAT LA?

Me: WHAT??

V: Stupid.

Me: Idiot.

*silence*

Me: I think we’re retarded.

V: How many times are you gonna say that idiot?

Me: Till the end, stupid.

Fascinating, I know=p

Song of the day

Okay this song has been stuck in my head for two days. Its dammaku dammaku from Aadhavan. V calls it “The dubuku listening to dammaku”=( LOL. Anyways here’s the song.

That’s it for today’s post. I know it isn’t my usual style of free flow conversation and I sorta cheated by using a lot of videos which I know some of you will see like one minute and skip. Don’t think I dunno=p Apologies, I promise to come back and write properly once I get a good sense of what to write. Till next time peeps, don’t nakka mukka around, dylamo something or engage in fish marriages. For those who didn’t understand, its better you didn’t. Byeeeee!

Kalai’s list of special people (Whom i’m not normally nice to but this is an exception)

V – I knew V like more than a year ago but I really started getting to know her only around 3 mths ago. When I first met her, I never once thought that she’d come to play such a daily part in my life. Strange how things turn out. Yeah, complicated I know. Haha but she’s made the end of my year an unforgettable one. I think we both are the most different of people, V being more confrontational and me being more diplomatic=p Yet  in some strange way, we connect on a level and suddenly the differences don’t really matter anymore. All those random convos, the jokes and the insults=p So V as you’re probably reading this, I owe you a big thank you and although I rarely give you compliments and tease you in every way I possibly can, beyond it all, I really hope you continue smiling and laughing the same retarded way you do. I’ve never “regretted my life knowing you”(V says that a lot) and no, this is not a challenge for you to increase your insults=p If I’ve made mistakes, forgive me. I can be pretty stupid at times=p (She’s probably giving the knowing nod to acknowledge that fact) Happy new year V=)

Samantha- Life in school would never be the same without the number one political science student and thank you for keeping the boredom out of school=p I know this is your final semester and I’ll be cursed to spend honours year alone and I’m not looking forward to it. I’m gonna miss that smile of yours that makes me smile even on the most crappiest of days. Thank you for keeping me focused and for taking all the knocks I give to your head. I know I’ll be spending next sem torturing you again so sorry in advance panda=p Happy new year to you!

Bhavani- I know I gave you an orufied nickname of Bhanumathi Rao. hahaha but you were the first one I know to spend two hours asking me about myself and I never forgot that. In a world where people are self obsessed, I became very used to conversations revolving around the other person rather than myself. You showed how much you wanted to know about me and I appreciate that even though I know I probably never gave you the answers you wanted.  I wish you a wonderful year and hope your relationship with your bf reaches new heights. God bless you both! You still owe me a mudpie from 2009. I’m still waiting. I’m free next week and I suggest you make yourself free. Or else=p

Maya – Constantly shouting “VANAN”, you never fail to make me feel unwanted and though I’ve never gotten the time to catch up with you as much as I should have, I really appreciate you for being there.  May 2010 be the start of a new journey for you and for you to achieve new things. Happy new year! And also I hope you run into your Edward Cullen soon=p Just be sure he doesn’t sparkle too much in the sun. Its gay. hahaha kidding kidding. (Girls and Edward Cullen. Pffft)

Haruna – Tiny bundle of terror armed with a cute voice but able to turn violent in an instant. Like Maya, I never got to catch up with you as much as I should have but I still remember the funny moments and the growl you do. hahaha I can’t believe how much time has passed since I’ve known you and I’m glad to have known you! Happy new year Wuwu=)

Nanthini- Who can forget the insane msn convos and of course when you held a knife at me?=p The closest to me in turn of crappiness and lame jokes, I enjoyed every conversation we had. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE NTU INSTEAD OF NUS. Sigh. Thank you for sharing in my nonsense and God knows how many times I’ve said this but we should meet again soon. I know I’ve been like a businessman and I’m sorry=p Happy new year!

Kirthi – My littlest sister, 2009 has been a long year for you huh=) I hope I’ve been there whenever you’ve needed someone. You’ve struggled a lot and now you’re on track to achieve your dream of being a nurse. I’m so so proud of you and the person you’ve become. I wish the very best for you and don’t worry too much Kirbs. Life has its ups and downs and I’ll always be there to pick you up if you ever slip. My promise to you in 2010;) Happy new year Kirbsieee!

Vinoth, Arvind, Naveen and Ganesh – All 4 come as a set and together we did the most random of stuff.  Naveen I still remember you ringing random doorbells and throwing a glass bottle over my head which nearly killed us all. Thanks ah. Vinoth a.k.a sportsman of the year, you’re gonna go on to represent Singapore in dunno how many sports la, you rock;) Arvind, always getting into trouble ah but you’re an intelligent guy and I know things get tough for you sometimes but stay strong dude. You’re way better than you think you are and I’ve always believed you can make it. Believe in yourself;) Ganeshuuuuuuuu. All your stories about girls never fail to make me smile la. I know love is kinda complicated at times but promise me you’ll never become like Devdas and roam with a dog. Cos I swear I will send your dog back to SPCA and smash the beer bottle on your head to wake you up. You guys made my 2009 a very special one. Thank you.

There are many more people I have to thank la but I don’t wanna make this an Oscar speech cos half of you are either probably pissed that I didn’t mention you or waiting for this emo shit to end. hahaha idiots. I remember each and every one of you and you’ve all played parts in my year. If I were to thank each one of you, this blog post would become a novel=p I know I’m not one of the easiest to get along with cos I barely trust anybody and I crap as much as a monkey pees in a day.(which is a lot. I think. They showed on animal planet) But I’ve always tried to make each of you smile and if I’ve failed, I’ve got the whole of 2010 to try ah=p Ok happy new year wish list ended. I’m back to my cranky self. Now on to random convos of the year 2009.

This happened yesterday la. Cos Aishu, V’s lovable niece came over to her place. The cutest little girl ever and still attempting to speak which makes it hilarious.

V: Aishu sing.

Aishu: uhm?

V: AISHU SING AISHU SING.(psycho sia this one) Sing all the single ladies.

Aishu: uhm? (The poor soul says ah or uhm to everything la)

V: Say A-l-l the sinnngle laaadies!

Aishu: Alllll the singleeee daaaddies!

I died at this point la. So adorable kids can be ah? V thinks she’s damn adorable also as seen from the next convo.

V: You’re burning inside riiiight? I knooow.

Me: Oh? You can tell? I bet you feel the heat right?

V: Yeah I can feel the heat. *pause* Eh wait, maybe its me ah.

I swear la sometimes I just don’t know whether to smile or hit her when she says stuff like this. Like right about now, when she calls to tell me how she thought of me when she’s at Seoul Garden whacking food.  Most of the time I just end up smiling. Sigh. I’m so kind and nice la.(Shut up, I don’t wanna hear the truth)

Actually I got a hell lot to say la regarding the events of 2009 all but I was too lazy to write down plus the word count now is at 1167. Holy shit. So I’m gonna end it off here. Happy new year to each and every one of you and  stay strong=)

Meet Spike. 7 years of age. Looks like a cross between a rabbit and a dog. A warning, please do not stare too long into the eyes of the doggie. You know the term “puppy eyes”? Yup Spike knows it too. But don’t fall for it. Spike is a super random, cunning little doggie. Normally I’m cool with Spike la. But the thing is, the day before I was watching this documentary on MTV about some silly girl who got pregnant at 16. She had this dog and the problem was there was this scene in which the dog licked its ass. I dunno how to explain how it managed to lick its own ass. Stop thinking it. On another note I realise I suck at explanations. I was watching this documentary with V on the line la and she kinda missed the part where they said the gender of the baby was a boy and so I tried to explain. Convo as follows:

V: A boy? How you know its a boy sia? How come I never see? (Just like her to ask questions I have no answer to)

Me: They said just now! Cos they were doing the scan and on the computer screen they showed an arrow to the baby’s peepee and said it was a boy.

V: *pause* peepee? What’s a peepee? (I swear she knows la ok but she just wants to hear what bullshit I come up with)

Me: You dunno what a peepee is? Peepee is the one guys chuchu with.(Sigh)

So yes. Now you know i suck at explanations. BUT, back to topic. They show this dog licking its ass and suddenly I get reminded of Spike who has the tendency to lick me and attempt to kiss me. So the day was spent trying not to get french kissed by Spike and trying to explain to the dog that he’s a guy and guys don’t kiss other guys. He barked a few times to that so I suppose he either meant “ok ok I get it now” or “Shut up idiot”. No. Its not the latter. Idiots.

That aside, more general topic. Christmas eve! I’ve always loved Christmas. Everyone seems happy and there’s this festive mood. Christmas also indicates the coming end of the year and I’m sure we all look back at some point to see how far we’ve come. The happy and sad moments, the highs and lows, the lessons we’ve learnt, the stronger we’ve become and of course, the new experiences. This year has taught me nothing is ever permanent. I know you’re asking how come I just realised it but its different when you experience it directly. I’ve always known nothing is ever permanent but we take it for granted. We assume that people are gonna be around the next day and there will always be another chance to say something you’ve always wanted to say. Amidst this happy season, I hope we all realise the importance of the people we care about and to show your love for them (like presents for me=p). Ego is never a good thing especially when it restricts you. Make others smile and let them know how much you mean to them. I believe we all meet certain people for a reason and as you look back, every new person you ever met or every relationship you’ve had, has a purpose. What have you learnt from them? We never have the time to think about such things ah.  I know I have lost people this year whom I thought would be with me for a long time to come but I’ve also met new ones whom I’ve learnt so much more from and who never fail to put a smile on my face. Everything happens for a reason as they say=p

Wa damn long post sia. Somemore the last part like emo-ish and wise. LOL. Self praise all. V’s influence. (Eh, I’m so pretty ah?) hahahaha but anyways hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas ahead. Smile through adversity. No I’m not trying to sound all wise and almighty=p Things you can change, you change. Things you can’t, smile and let it run its course. I’m too lazy to worry about stuff I can never change. And damn you Santa Claus. I want my presents. lol. Random. Must be the chocos acting up. I’m off. Merry Christmas! Here’s a nice song before that. Yiruma’s “River flows in you”. I’ve always loved this one. Imagine a nice fireplace, snow outside, a cup of hot chocolate and a nice comforter over yourself. Close your eyes and enjoy=)

I’m using my computer and suddenly I hear loud shouting and I look across my block and I see people all looking down from their flats and corridors. I thought maybe 2012 came early or something sia. Took a brief look up. No meteors. Ok so not 2012. So I looked down and saw this Chinese guy chasing this Malay guy screaming thief thief. First impression I had. Maybe this is like police and thief or what. Like multi-racial game also. Then the Chinese dude hits the Malay fella. Ok maybe not police and thief lol. All this was pretty normal la until the Malay dude climbs the sheltered area of my estate. Its not that high of a shelter la but you fall from that and I’ll see you at Tan Tock Seng emergency ward for sure. (There’s this story about Tan Tock Seng in which V’s grandma says statistics show that there is a higher death rate there than other hospitals. But that’s a story for another day)=p

Back to story. So the Malay dude stands on the shelter and refuses to get down. Soon enough the police arrive followed by an ambulance and a civil defence jeep. But foo. You must see my estate la. Normally can hear a pin drop but today crowded siol. Like some freaking show or what. Worse still got some Steven Spielbergs in the making taking videos all with their camera phones. And some were clapping and whistling. LIKE WTH. AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE HERE? Maybe when someone is on a high platform, the last thing you wanna do is cheer and clap. Real moronic idiots to the max.

So I was observing this. By now I took a milo and a tub of popcorn. What? Don’t judge me. At least I wasn’t cheering=p V called me around this time to inform me she was eating cheese fries. I told her about the incident and V didn’t even blink an eye sia. She just said, “You never join him ah?” Classic V. I think also cos it happens a lot in Yishun. I should tell you guys Yishun stories soon also. Remind me=p So after V’s phone ran out of battery, I hung up and went back to the show. But it ended=( Apparently the malay dude stole something and tried to escape. Why someone would climb a high platform that leads nowhere in order to escape, I have no idea. But they caught him and took him away. I swear I saw disappointment on the faces of the people downstairs sia. If got gun fight or what confirm all happy.I always thought humans(or hoomans as V would say sometimes) were strange.

On a random note,  I’ve got two videos today. First up, a Vijayankanth videeeeeeeo! See if you can tell what’s wrong with the video.

I bet one person in particular enjoyed the sexy close up of the mustache at the start. Right V?(oops)  But for the more observant ones, THE IDIOT IS SEARCHING FOR PEOPLE USING WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER LOL. Look closer when he’s doing the search. Its the window’s media player program. WTF. My windows media player can’t do shit like that. Goes to show, if you’re Vijayakanth, bullets don’t just bounce off you. Freaking windows media player changes into world class criminal search interface.

Second video. Ok, firstly I dunno why the hell I’m posting this. Its damn lame and retarded. But the way they rhyme the stuff is so lame that I actually laugh. Sigh. Enjoy=p

Silly Lily. Whoa la whoa. Anyways I’m off peeps. Enjoy the last bit of your Sundays and have fun=) Bye!

OH YA. One more news. They actually found a species of octopus in Indonesia that carries coconut shells as armor. I am not kidding people. Its a warrior octopus. This kinda news I read and I know that the world’s gonna end la, not cos of icebergs but cos of coconut carrying octopus. Imagine sia. You’re swimming happily without a care in the world. Then…*BONK*..you get knocked out by a coconut. Guess who? Yeah. Its the damn coconut carrying octopus. *gulps* Scary shit.

Lastly before I leave, I was traveling in the bus yesterday and I realised there are a particular class of people, the sleepers. Yes. Sleepers are the ones you see in the bus who sleep. And I thought back and realised there are actually three kinds. So i decided to make a list. Feel free to add suggestions.

The Rigid Sleeper

Ok, this group is normally the least irritating but freaky. They close their eyes in the bus and never move. Like they just freeze in that sitting position and fall asleep. The bus jerks, swerves, increases speed or accident, they just remain in the same position. Maybe they’re meditating or what but somehow when it comes to their stop, they immediately wake up and just leave as if nothing happened. Whoa la whoa.

The Jelly Sleeper

This class of sleepers is downright irritating la. If they’re sitting next to you, God help you. Jelly Sleepers are those who lose complete control of their bodies when they sleep. They move to the direction of the bus. Bus turns left, jelly boy/girl swerves left. Bus turns right, they swerve right. Ideally, your shoulder serves as their pillow. They occasionally will wake up in between la only to nod back to jelly mode a couple of seconds later. Sadly, among Jelly Sleepers, there are many droolers. Yes you heard me. Drool. The next time you’re beside a Jelly Sleeper and you find your shoulder wet, its not water.

The Head Bangers

I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with this. You sit down and you hear this *tock* *tock* sound in intervals. You become curious and look around. And what do you find? This sleeping person randomly bouncing his/her head off the window. Welcome to the Head Bangers. This group tends to prefer window seats cos they can lean all. Unfortunately every movement of the bus means in their sleep, they knock their heads on the window. A lot. Seriously, does that cause brain damage or something. AND WHY DO THEY NOT FEEL ANYTHING. Even I feel sorry for them sia. But I still watch cos its funny to watch people knock their heads on windows. The good point is that the Head Bangers are peaceful. They only knock their heads on windows, not your head. You’re safe. Wipe that bead of sweat from your forehead.

Three classes of sleepers and each with their own unique traits. No offence if you fall into any one of them. I know we all have our tired and sleepy moments and bus rides offer a good opportunity to relax. As long as its no bother to anyone else I’m cool with it. Jelly Sleepers, pay attention to this. One more time an idiot lies his/her head on my arm, I will convert them into a Head Banger.

Random video of the day. What do you do when two people point guns at you? Just smile. Ask them to put it down with your hands and pop a cigarette into your mouth. Walk away with a swagger. Learn from the best yo. Shizzle to the fo’dizzle. I have no idea what I’m saying already. Just watch the video. Let me know if you need me to bail you out of jail after that=p Bye for now peeps!

And I haven’t forgotten about you V. This is dedicated to you. This kind of videos makes her happy one. Blood coming from the nose like water from the tap all. Confirm V will smile when watching. Sigh. Wait for the shocked expression at the end. Priceless. *Hur*LOL.

Me: Hello?

V: Oh. I think I called you wrongly. Bye.(The tone ah. Foo. Damn flat and the “I don’t want to talk to you” tone cos she wants me to know she’s pissed).

Me: Eh wait wait, never mind you can just talk.(Actually it was cos I was feeling damn guilty about saying something the day before. Normally I will just go back to sleep=p)

V: No never mind (She said a never mind to my never mind sia.), you can go back to sleep. Byeeeee.

Me: WAIT

V: I’m gonna hang up ahhh.

Me: You won’t hang up laaa(So confidently somemore), just talk.

V: ok byeeeeeeeee(Nothing is getting through to her head at this point)

Me: WAAA*click*IT

*sighs and puts back phone. Goes back to sleep*

But yes, the whole day was spent trying to appease the fiery V who later admitted that she wasn’t really angry but decided it’d be fun to irritate me by not calling or smsing. But its strange how we get used to things ah. I think we’ve spoken everyday since Oct 18. So one day of silence and you get the feeling something is not quite right. I’m sure we all have one of those experiences as some point. And I can bet my last dollar that V is probably smiling right now=p Right V?

Moving on though, the Japanese have always been known for their crazy game shows and all but they always succeed in taking this to the next level. Like the one in the video, where they get a stroke of the cane every time they laugh. And they get whacked ok. Like not the gentle touch of the cane all. You can freaking hear the wind as the cane comes crashing down on their butts. And I laugh every single time they get hit somemore or they cry out. I’m sadistic. But i bet you do it too. Watch!

QWESTIONS. LOL. The guy learning English cracks me up la. This is another one. Same group but they get set up with a fake MRI.

I dunno where they come up with such ideas la. But its downright hilarious. One thing’s for sure, I take part in one of these game shows and I’ll get my butt hit so many times, I’ll probably never be able to sit down for the rest of my life.

Anyways short post and I have no idea if I’ll be back but I’ll leave you guys with some quotes which made me smile and laugh over the past two months. You can use them to threaten people and to prove your point. I take no responsibility for the consequences after you’ve used them.

Kalai/V’s soorapuli(For the non tamil speakers, I think it translates to brave tiger) quotes.

1) If I don’t see the name Jack in the book tomorrow, I will change your name.

2) I will slap you so hard that your white hair will fall off. V responded with “I will slap you so hard you’ll forget your own name”. Yes. V has issues with names.

3) Do you know what a slap is? Ideally the person will try to be funny and say no, especially if its V. So you say “Would you like to find out?”

4) Remember, slippers and shoes form important parts of threatening people. You can also take it to the next level like V who has occasionally threatened to put her heels through my neck. V is a violent girl.

5) Psychological threats are even more useful than normal ones. For example let’s say someone threatens you like “Don’t make me *insert threat here* to you”. When you’re responding, change your tone. Make it as calm and as evil as possible. Say “Oh really? Try la.” The person threatening will get confused.

6) Use evil laughter often. It freaks people out. Practice makes perfect. Start with “he he he”. Yes people he he he is evil.

There it is. 6 easy to use threats and guaranteed success rate. Enjoy people. Keep smiling and have a good December. I want snow in Singapore. This sucks. But that’s a story for another day. Till next time,ciao!

I found two really funny videos though on my last and final(sigh) visit to youtube and they spoofed an indian family and you all know sometimes, elders in the family just say things without knowing the facts but insist so well that you doubt your own intelligence. The first video reflects this damn well la. hahaha apologies for the somewhat bad quality but its a really good skit done by Malaysian comedians.

hahahaha so remember ah..all food comes from India. And the funniest thing was i know a couple of my older relatives who would do exactly the same thing. hahahaha=p The second video is also a spoof of an indian family, like “goodness gracious me”. I loved that show. Its a bit exaggerated but i found elements in the spoof so similar to real life at times. hahaha watch it and you’ll see.

Btw the women except the young girl in the spoofs are all played by men. If you didn’t realise that earlier, you’re either studying too hard or you’re a sotong. But its really funny stuff. hahaha i think we all need to step back sometimes and view life with a funny perspective and these kind of videos help alot for me. If i view life from a serious perspective, everything will seem so boring and monotonous. So just find the little things in life that put a little smile on your face, screw the bad and when you can’t, you’ll always have friends to help you through it and if you’re the religious kind, you have divine help. Not so bad when you look at it this way i suppose. Then again please don’t go everywhere smiling. Next thing you know, you’ll be staring at padded walls in a straitjacket.

So that’s it people till my exams finish. Hope all you guys are doing good and hanging in there. We’ll all make it laaaa..have hope=p All the best to you all and wish you all a great “rest of the month” ahead.